Tiny Secrets
by OrigamiPenguin
Summary: OotP: Tonks and Lupin share a mystical drink to mourn. Remus wants to know Tonks' secrets....NTRL and much better than the summary...
1. Mourning Mr Black

DISCLAIMER: JK Rowling owns it all, Merlin Bless Her . . .  
  
**Tiny Secrets**  
  
Remus Lupin sat in the kitchen, a small shot glass sitting in front of him. Number Twelve Grimmauld Place was filled in silence. It wouldn't be unusual if Sirius was there . . . But he wasn't, and the small shot glass seemed to ask him to put the tinniest bit of alcohol in it . . .  
  
"Remus?" Tonks stood in the doorway, still half asleep. Apparently she had mistaken the kitchen for the bathroom, in one of her late night escapes to relieve her bladder.  
  
"Tonks," He smiled. "The bathroom's the other way."  
  
She sighed. "I know. I just came to see if anyone was awake." She came at sat down in a chair near Lupin, not noticing him grabbing the glass and shoving it in his pocket.  
  
"Why did you do that?"  
  
She shrugged. "'Cause I knew there would be. There always is." She ran her fingers through her hair, which was short and purple. "Remus, we're worried about you."  
  
"Oh I'm fine. Don't worry, please don't worry." He gave her a feeble smile.  
  
"You're so convincing." She looked him in the eyes. He looked tired, more so than usual. "Is the full moon -?"  
  
"No," Lupin stopped her. "I'm just tired . . . "  
  
She nodded. "Want some coffee?" Remus noticed she was dressed in her day clothes, even though it was an ungodly hour, and a miserable night. There had been thunderstorms all evening.  
  
"No thanks," The small shot glass crept into his thoughts. "You wouldn't approve of what I want to drink."  
  
Tonks stared, looking mortally betrayed. "Remus J. Lupin, I am not Mrs. Weasley, Merlin bless her, what do you want to drink?" She had a smirk on her face, a bit like one of Sirius's.  
  
"Er," He paused, did he really want to do this? Hell yes . . . "Anything that gets me totally and completely sloshed."  
  
Tonks raised an eye brow. "Sloshed? I've never seen you like this before, Remus." She waved her wand and a dusty bottle filled with a glowing purple fluid appeared on the table. Eagerly Lupin fingered the glass in his pocket. "Hand me a glass, will you?"  
  
He quickly placed the one in his pocket on the table, ignoring Tonks shocked looks. "We'll need one more," He blushed.  
  
"I didn't expect you to be so . . . " She stopped.  
  
"So what?"  
  
"Prepared." She finished, waving her wand to get her own glass.  
  
Lupin stared at her distorted image through the bottle of magical beverage. "We shouldn't do this." He reached for the glass, but Tonks's hand on his arm stopped him.  
  
"Why not? No one here to impress, no one here wants to be impressed. We're mourning." She winked. Remus sighed, knowing that he shouldn't make a mockery of mourning his late friend.  
  
"Shall we toast then?" He suggested, while Tonks poured what looked like small purple flames into his glass.  
  
Tonks nodded, holding up her glass. "To Sirius?"  
  
"To Sirius, one of the best damn wizard in the wizarding world!"  
  
The small 'clinks' of glasses echoed through the house.

  
  
"Tonks," Remus slurred, pouring himself his umpteenth glass of whatever Tonks had conjured up.  
  
Hiccuping, she answered: "Yes?"  
  
"Tell me your biggest, darkest, secret, will you?" He burped, rather unpleasantly.  
  
It took Tonks a few seconds to register what the werewolf had asked her. "Tell me yours first. If you want mine, that is."  
  
"I love you, Tonks." He paused. "But that's not my secret . . . " He looked like he had confused himself.  
  
"Remus maybe we should stop . . . " She took a deep breath before continuing. "Drinking." She finished, as she steadied herself on the table. Even though she was still sitting.  
  
Lupin looked out the window, thunder clouds still hovered in the sky. "My biggest secret-"  
  
"I am closing my ears so I-"  
  
"No, I need to say this." He scratched his head. "I am a werewolf Tonks."  
  
She sat in her chair, thinking what he said over in her clouded mind . . . She'd known that . . . Or had she?  
  
"A werewolf?" Best act shocked, in case she didn't know . . .  
  
"That's not the secret Tonks." Remus poured himself another glass. "The secret is that I am a werewolf, with no friends . . . and I am just waiting for the full moon." He slammed his now empty glass down on the table. Tonks flinched at the sound.  
  
"You'll wake Mrs. Black . . . " She counted in her head . . . three . . . two . . . one . . .  
  
"FILTH! MUDBLOODS! YOU DISGRACE TO THE WIZARDING WORLD!"  
  
"Ah, my dear auntie." Tonks sighed.  
  
Lupin held his head in his hands. "Make her shut it,"  
  
Tonks shrugged. "I can't. If I stand, I'll just-"  
  
"IN THE NAME OF MERLIN WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP AT THIS HOUR? WAKING MRS. BLACK?" Mrs. Weasley came barreling down the crooked stairs of the House of the Blacks, her bright red hair in curlers with her tartan robe wrapped tightly around her.  
  
"INCREDIBLE DIMWITS! MOURNING MY FOOL OF A SON! MY WRETCHED, HORRIBLE, EVIL, DISGRACE-"  
  
The shouting stopped, Mrs. Weasley had managed to close the curtain, silencing Mrs. Black.  
  
"Thanks, Molly." Lupin sighed. Mrs. Weasley stared apprehensively at the bottle in between Remus and Tonks.  
  
"Oh, it's nothing. But don't go waking the portraits this late at night, or this early in the morning . . . I don't know." She climbed back up the stairs.  
  
"That Molly sure is a doll." Tonks said. "Remus, when is the next full moon?"  
  
He shifted his weight uncomfortably in his chair. "Tonks . . . I can't say. You'll just worry." He remembered what he said before. "So what's your secret?"  
  
Even though her emotions seemed muddled and were presently drowning in her father's bottle of devil's drink, she knew what her secret was at the moment.  
  
'I want to transform into Sirius, and let Remus see him again . . . Let Harry see him . . . ' She thought to herself.  
  
"You didn't explain yours well enough for me yet." She answered, picking up the bottle just to drop it mid pour. This however, wasn't an act of alcohol, she was just clumsy.  
  
"I thought it was self explanatory. I want it to be a full moon so I can escape my human emotions." He stared at the spill Tonks had made. "That isn't wrong, is it?"  
  
Tonks coughed. He was asking her how to grieve? Surely Tonks wasn't the right person for this . . .  
  
"I don't see how it could be. I don't blame you . . . " She looked at his eyes. His amber eyes . . . his slits for pupils . . .  
  
"Remus, WHEN IS THE NEXT FULL MOON?" She demanded, careful not to be so loud she'd wake Mrs. Black again.  
  
He blinked at her, eyes round and yellow. "Tonight . . . " He looked out the window. So far the weather hadn't permitted any lycanthropy, with the clouds and all.  
  
"Did you take the wolfsbane?" Tonks asked, eyeing the window.  
  
"Of course I did. Nasty stuff . . . " She noticed he had gotten vague, compared to what he'd been saying.  
  
Tonks swallowed. "Do you think you'll transform tonight? Is the storm blowing over?"  
  
"I always transform . . . " He circled the top of the glass with his finger. "It's no big deal." A small ringing came from the friction his finger made against the glass.  
  
"Your eyes are yellow. I think that the moon's rays are becoming more powerful. Maybe you should lie down." Tonks waved her wand and the bottle and glass disappeared. She ignored the disappointed look on Lupin's face. This was making her nervous.  
  
He glanced at the window again, silvery threads of moon light had made their way into the kitchen. "Sorry Tonks, it's time."  
  
He blinked his eyes, that had grown more wolf like. As a thick coat of gray hair covered his body, Tonks could hear the cracking of bones. She saw his hands curl into paws, a big puffy tail. He was shaking, cowering in the fetal position . . .  
  
It was over, a gangly wolf creature was laying on the floor, panting.  
  
"Remus?" The wolf perked up at his name and ambled over to Tonks happily. "You're so cute when you're a wolf..." She got off her chair and sat on the floor, most ungracefully.  
  
Lupin's pink tongue was lolling out of his mouth. He began to lick Tonks face. She giggled until she realized: Remus Lupin was licking her face. Was that supposed to be a kiss? Or was his intentions to really lick her? Or was this just what werewolves did in their wolf form.  
  
"Stop it," Tonks patted him on the head. "I think that I think its gross. I am not quite sure yet, so don't be offended." She stood up, ignoring the throbbing pain in her temples.  
  
She made her way into the spinning living room with great effort and lied down on the couch. Closing her eyes to welcome sleep, she didn't mind when Remus curled up on the couch with her.  
  


"I feel sick." Lupin groaned, in his human state again.  
  
"I can't see why, you're in great company." He opened his eyes to see Albus Dumbledore peering at him over his half moon glasses, Daily Prophet in hand.  
  
"Professor!" Lupin tried to get up but Tonks's body hindered that option. "Me and Tonks-"  
  
Albus raised a hand, a grin on his face. "No, I think that Molly has informed me of all I need to know."  
  
Lupin sighed. "It's not like that I just-we just-"  
  
"Mr. Lupin, I told you that I know enough, but I don't think Kingsley does...you might want to get dressed and pretend you had just a routine transformation." He winked and disapparated.  
  
Remus looked at his ripped robes, and began to shake Tonks violently. "Tonks! Wake up! Hello?"  
  
"'Ello," She muttered.  
  
"Tonks..." He paused. "You never told me your secret." There was a sly grin on his face. 


	2. Tonks's Secret

"Huh?" Tonks said, opening her eyes slowly.

"You never told me your secret." Remus said, pushing her off the couch so he could be free again.

"I have to go to the toilet." She said, standing up and rushing up the stairs.

"Leave it to Tonks…" Remus sighed walking into the kitchen.

Tonks stood in front of the mirror in the bathroom. It was dusty beyond belief—and uncleanable much to Mrs. Weasley's dismay. As was the sink…and most of the house.

She looked at her self, leaning closer and closer to the mirror until her nose just touched the cool glass. She could do it…definitely.

But it wasn't a very good idea.

But nothing like that every stopped Tonks.

Nothing like that every popped in Tonks's head. 

She concentrated on her hair, turning it into a black sort of unkempt dread locked thing. It didn't look too bad, but she changed it back to purple quickly. She turned the faucet on and splashed some water on her face.

__

What am I doing? She thought to herself.

She examined her jaw line. Slowly it seemed to melt into a more masculine form.

"Tonks!"

She let out a little scream as bones rapidly changed back to their original form. 

"Yes?"

"Breakfast!"

It was Molly. She really had a way of surprising you.

"Okay, hold on I'm in the toilet."

Remus sat down, listening to Mrs. Weasley call Tonks. He looked down at his toast. He always ate toast. Even at Hogwarts he ate toast. Sirius ate toast. Maybe he wasn't ready for toast just yet.

"Molly?" He said, pushing away his plate.

"What is it dear?" She asked, wiping her hands on her apron.

"I just don't want toast, is all. Thanks anyway." He picked up his plate and let the bread fall into the garbage can.

"Can I get you anything else?" she had a concerned look on her face.

He shook his head. "It's okay, I'm going to see Buckbeak." He pointed his wand at the plate and murmured 'scourgify' before heading upstairs.

The majestic hippogriff/felon that was Buckbeak returned Lupin's bow and closed his eyes as he stroked the feather dander off his beak.

Meanwhile, Tonks was still in the bathroom, testing her Sirius impersonations. Her nose quivered and instantly turned into Sirius's. She turned it back to normal when a knock came to her door.

"Tonks, I need to go." It was Lupin

She sighed, making sure all of her features were her own. "Come in."

The door creaked open. "What are you doing?" He closed the door behind him.

"Nothing. I'll go now—"

"You can stay." He said as she reached for the doorknob.

She choked on air with the initial shock. "Remus, what make you think I want to listen to you pee?"

"Never mind…" He said, unzipping his pants. Tonks swallowed, she still hadn't turned the doorknob. "Are you leaving?"

"No." Tonks said defiantly.

"Good because I don't really have to go." She could hear him buckle his belt.

"Then why did you say you did?" She asked, sitting inside of the bathtub. 

He turned on the sink, and began washing his hands. "To talk."

"Oh." She took off her shoes. "My secret…" She started, waiting to see Remus's reaction.

"Yes?" He said, looking at her. The water was still running. 

She looked at him, his graying hair plastered to one side from sleeping on the couch. "I was in here and I—" She stopped to feel the tears stream down her cheeks. Remus still had his hands under the running water, but he wasn't washing. "I was trying…" She turned away.

"Tonks, its okay I don't want to know." He came and sat on the side of the tub, leaving the water running. 

"I was trying to -- to shift into Sirius."

She could feel Lupin's eyes on her. "You can do that? Turn all the way into a man?" Turning to look him in the eye she smiled.

"I don't know yet." She scratched her neck. "I could try." Remus couldn't help the smirk on his face.

"I want you to try."

"For what?"

"Just to see."

"Turn around then." She shooed him away and closed the shower curtain. After a couple of minutes, Tonks laughed. "No…I don't think I can…"

Remus, feeling an awkward attraction to Tonks laughed with her. "That's all right—I like you as a woman."

Tonks was lucky she had closed the shower curtain because her face was redder than Mrs. Weasley's hair. "Oh…" She mumbled, making sure all of her bodily elements were strictly her own, she opened the curtain after restoring her complexion back to normal. To her surprise, Remus was right in front of her.

To make things worse, or more surprising, her planted a kiss on her. Right on the lips. It was an awesome kiss. The kind you feel in the pit of your stomach and don't forget--the kind that you compare all the others to.

"That's good. Because I very much like you as a man."

The water was still running. Remus walked over to it and turned the faucet. He looked at Tonks. She was sitting in the bathtub again, a look of shock on her face. Was that good or bad?

__

Oh god, what would Sirius say? He thought to himself.

__

"Please Moony! The last thing I want to her about is you and my cousin."

"Second cousin."

"Same thing."

"Completely different."

"Okay, then give me all the details."

"Are you okay?" Tonks grabbed her shirt and pulled it over her head.

Remus nodded. "How many people do you think had to use the toilet while we…" Maybe he shouldn't bring that up so soon….

"Hopefully not Mrs. Weasley—Or Dumbledore…Or even worse, Snape." She blushed a little.

He coughed. "Tonks, do you want to...maybe go on a date?"

She laughed. "You're asking me _now_? Don't you think it's a little…late?"

Remus never felt more awkward in his life. First off, he had been romantically inclined with Tonks—_after_ they had been drunk; secondly, he couldn't talk to anyone about it; and thirdly, he liked it very much. "I guess so. Do you want lunch? You missed breakfast."

"I know." She stood up and combed her hair with her fingers. "Lets go."

"What if they ask where we were?" Remus asked, buttoning his shirt.

"It will be our tiny secret." She said smiling.

THE END! 


End file.
